This Chained White Slave Girl

I lay on the dog bed as I contemplated my new circumstances.  The room was cool and dry but the air was deathly still.  The light faded slightly as the sun moved away from the small window high on the wall behind me.  I ignored my thirst and hunger.  I wanted to savor the moment.  Although I was naked but for my collar and shackles I felt no shame, as I knew no one would or could see my bare flesh.  I was utterly alone.

After some time and as the darkness gathered, I decided I should use the bucket to relieve myself whilst I could still see it.  My eyes were adapting to the darkness as quickly as the light faded, but it looked like the room had no provision for light other than the window.  I moved my arm slightly to see how heavy the chains were that bound my arms and legs behind me.  The weight of them seemed enormous.  I stretched a little - there was enough slack that I could move my legs but I could not extend them much before I felt the collar pinch my throat.  I looked at the bucket.  I had to hurry before I lost all daylight.

I shifted my weight to the edge of the dog bed and swung my feet to the floor.  The cement was cool and rough but not unpleasant.  As I struggled to prop myself on one elbow, I realized that each movement pulled each shackle and the collar, bruising my wrists and ankles.  I grabbed the chain with my hands to lift the weight of it so I could lean into a squat, but I lost my balance and tumbled painfully back onto the dog bed. 

After a few more unsuccessful and painful attempts, I managed to balance on the balls of my feet.  The bucket was no more than a few feet away but it seemed like it was across the room. I shuffled carefully toward it, well aware that if I fell over, getting back up without the benefit of the dog bed would be arduous and painful.  After several small steps I positioned myself over the bucket and relieved myself.  The relief I felt was quickly replaced with the most profound sense of helplessness I could ever imagine.  Tears ran down my cheeks and plopped on the cement in the waning light.  I looked at the dog bed and began to shuffle back to it before the dusk settled into darkness.

The night settled on me as the room went to black.  My thoughts turned to my children.  I had banished them from my consciousness as the prospect of my enslavement unfolded in the past few days, but now they returned, unbidden and achingly unwelcome.

I missed them terribly.  The pain I had suppressed for so long now overwhelmed and consumed me.  I tried to construct a scenario which would reunite me with them, even for a day or two, but it was hopeless.  I had agreed to give up my life as a free woman, and with that I had surrendered all possibilities of ever seeing my children again.  My desolation was complete and a great sob welled up in me.  The life I had chosen did not include them.  I deserved to be devastated.